In India, there’s a familiar, almost seasonal rhythm to this time of year — one where students, especially those finishing 12th grade, are expected to make one of the biggest decisions of their lives: “What will you become?”
But the truth is — most students are nowhere near ready to make that choice. Not because they’re lazy. Not because they’re clueless. But because the system has never really given them the space to explore who they are before demanding they become someone.
We treat college like a launchpad into the real world. But the years leading up to it — school, tuition, test after test — often leave students burnt out, directionless, and quietly anxious. The system pushes them to memorize, compete, and perform, but rarely to reflect, explore, or grow.
Take a Pause & Reflect
This isn’t just about students. It’s about all of us — parents, teachers, mentors — and the roles we unknowingly play in this cycle.
We need to ask ourselves: Have we really prepared our children for the choices they’re now expected to make?
- Have we helped them understand their values, their passions, and their strengths
- Have we created space for self-awareness, or have we just handed down expectations?
Education or Employment Training?
Let’s be honest — the education system today often feels less like a gateway to discovery and more like a factory preparing students for the labor force.
Few schools teach how to manage emotions, communicate clearly, solve real-world problems, or make value-based decisions.
Most focus on standardization. On performance. On preparing students for corporate conformity.
But students aren’t meant to be “work-ready products.” They’re meant to be people — curious, diverse, imperfect, evolving.
And real education should reflect that.
The Rush to Get Ahead
I’ve seen children pushed two or three years ahead in the curriculum — learning 7th-grade math in 5th grade. Not because they’re gifted. But because someone wants to say it at a party.
It’s not just about pride. It’s about fear — fear that “If my child falls behind, they’ll never catch up.”
But the truth is: growth isn’t linear. Some children bloom later. Some learn differently. Some need space to stumble and get back up.
When we rush them, we don’t give them a head start. We give them stress. We take away their right to learn on their own terms.
As the saying goes: “You have to crawl before you can walk.”
We’re not raising machines. We’re raising human minds — rich with emotion, creativity, and complexity.
Let Them Make Mistakes
Let your children fail. Let them try. Let them wonder. Let them explore things that might not “lead somewhere.”
Because the truth is, the most important discoveries are rarely on a syllabus. They happen in conversations, curiosities, wrong turns, and moments of stillness.
Let them get it wrong. Let them change their mind. Let them find out what they don’t like — because that’s how they’ll find what they do.
The Cost of Pressure
When students take their lives because of pressure, it isn’t because they didn’t want to live — it’s often because they didn’t feel heard. They felt like their struggles didn’t matter. That the only path to love or respect was success. And that failure would mean the end of everything.
We need to remember: no exam, no institution, no career path is worth more than a child’s peace of mind.
As parents, our job isn’t to guarantee their success. It’s to protect their spirit. To hold space for their unfolding. To let them be.
And Even If They “Make It”...
Even if your child gets the degree, the rank, the job — what’s the cost if they’re not happy?
Most of the people I know with good grades and great jobs still carry stress, burnout, and a quiet longing to escape.
Degrees aren’t promises of peace. Success doesn’t always come with satisfaction. And no amount of salary can fill the space left by a life unlived.
A Gentle Reminder
If you're a parent reading this, please know — this isn’t blame. It’s an invitation to reflect.
Sometimes, in trying to give our children the best, we hand them a version of our dreams, our fears, our unfinished business.
But what if your child’s path looks nothing like yours? What if they’re not meant to repeat your story — but to write a completely new one?
Let’s Redefine Education Together
Education isn’t just about outcomes. It’s about becoming. It’s about creating humans who feel confident, compassionate, curious, and connected to who they are.
It should be a bridge to selfhood — not a race toward achievement.
So next time we ask a child, “What do you want to become?” Let’s make space for the answer: “I don’t know yet. But I’m learning who I am.”
That’s not failure. That’s real education.
Disclaimer
I’m not an educationist, therapist, or academic expert.
I’m simply someone who’s been a student — and seen the silent pressures students carry.
I created The Unpressured Project not to preach solutions, but to ask better questions. To listen. To share stories. To create space for voices that are often ignored in conversations around education, success, and mental health.
If you're a student, teacher, parent, or just someone who remembers how heavy “expectation” can feel — this space is for you.
I’m not an educationist, therapist, or academic expert.
I’m simply someone who’s been a student — and seen the silent pressures students carry.
I created The Unpressured Project not to preach solutions, but to ask better questions. To listen. To share stories. To create space for voices that are often ignored in conversations around education, success, and mental health.
If you're a student, teacher, parent, or just someone who remembers how heavy “expectation” can feel — this space is for you.
💛 If this piece made you pause, reflect, or feel a little less alone — you can support the project here:
Thank you for helping build a space where students feel seen — beyond marks, pressure, or the expectations of others.
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