“I just passed 12th. Scored 76%. Honestly, I thought it was decent. But for my parents… nope. Not good enough. Apparently, their “respect” in front of relatives depends on whether my percentage is above 90 or not.
They didn’t even ask me how I felt. Just jumped straight to “shame”. How their friends will talk. How I’ve ruined their “izzat”. I mean, whose marks are these — mine or theirs?
And the funniest part? This field — science — was never even my choice. They picked it. Because “beta, science karega toh log respect denge”. I was dying with these subjects.
“They expected me to do better in the field of their choice. I don’t even understand half of it. But they shoved it down my throat because their friends’ kids are engineers or doctors. So I should be too.”
Back in 10th, I had done well. Scored high. So they decided this was my future. No questions asked. No, “what do you want, son?” Just assumptions.
Now, because their dream colleges didn’t take me, I’m stuck. Wanted to escape, get into any college far away, but nope. Entrances flopped. Private colleges? According to them, useless. “Private mein padh ke kya karoge? Society will laugh.” So basically, I’m trapped at home. No job, no part-time work, no way out. Just sitting here, rotting.
And yeah, mental health? Lol. Therapy? “People will say our son’s gone mad.” That’s what my mom said when I tried to bring it up. So now, anxiety is my constant roommate. Every night feels heavier. I can’t even study anymore because my brain keeps looping — what’s the point?
“I’m unable to study due to my anxiety. Can’t consult any therapist because again that will take away their respect.”
I’m tired. Not even of failing. Just tired of them. Of their rules. Their drama. Every time they fight, they throw it on me. “Look at what you’ve done to this family.”
Sometimes I think… would it even matter if I just disappeared? But I’m still here. Not because I’m strong. Just because I haven’t figured out an exit.
“Right now, I just want to breathe. Quietly. Without someone deciding my life for me.”
I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe because no one around me is ready to listen. Maybe this is the only place I can talk.
Sorry if this was too much. But this is my state.”
— From a 18-year-old student
Editor’s Note:
This story was shared with us by a student who asked to stay anonymous. Their words reflect a reality many students face — being trapped in careers they never chose, silenced by family expectations, and left to struggle alone. At Students of India, we believe these voices deserve to be heard. If you see yourself in this story, please remember: you are not alone. And your dreams are valid.
Food for Thought:
What if we stopped asking, “What will people say?”
And started asking, “What does my child really want?”
One honest conversation could save a lifetime of regret. Maybe even a life.
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