“I made the decision to prepare from home because I felt the financial burden would be too much for my father. Looking back, it was the worst decision of my preparation.
My mom questions me and makes me feel worthless almost every day because I didn’t clear in my first attempt. I was just fresh out of college. But the judgment started immediately.
This journey takes a toll on your mental health. You get lonely. You feel FOMO watching others move ahead. But you can’t show it.
All I can do is put my head down, do my prep, and sob internally. If I express it in front of them, they just call me useless and weak. That’s the reality. So I look for small distractions, moments of joy in other places. But even that pulls me away from my focus.
It’s tough. But victory comes to those who persevere. That’s what I hold on to.
What helps me is the thought of leading a better, financially independent life one day. That dream keeps me going.
I wish my family, especially my mom, would understand the struggles and not believe everything on the internet and reels about this exam. I wish they would just let me take my time, without forcing society’s expectations on me. When my mom says, “What will I tell others that my son is still preparing?”, it hurts.
But I’ve also realized something. At the end of the day, results matter, yes. But so does the journey. I tell myself to keep going and be better every day.
In this process, I’ve found things I enjoy. Cooking. Reading. MBA feels like a better fit for me. If not UPSC, I’ll find my path there. This is my story.”
— From an anonymous UPSC aspirant
Leave a Reply