“I open social media almost every day now. There’s always a new post. Someone sharing their acceptance letter, a call with an IIM interviewer, screenshots of admits, or CAT percentiles. And every time, I feel genuinely happy for them. I really do. It feels good to see someone’s hard work paying off.
But at the same time, something inside me sinks. I keep asking myself, how did I go from being a good, decent student to… this? Whatever this is.
I was never a topper. But in school, I was always somewhere in the top fifteen and almost always involved in things like Academics, extracurriculars, organizing events, being that all-rounder who made teachers nod with approval. I never gave my parents a big gold medal moment, but they were content. I could see it in their eyes. They were happy with how I was turning out.
I finished my BTech in Computer Science from a well-known college. Nothing elite, but respected. I got placed straight out of campus into a reputed company. Good salary, great work culture, free food – all those perks you dream of in college. For a while, it felt like I had made it.
But I got too comfortable. I wasn’t a top performer at work. I did my job, but I wasn’t networking or going out to dinners with managers or doing that soft politics thing some people are good at. When layoffs came, I was one of the first to be let go. Yep, just like that because as a fresher, I was easy to remove.
That was the shock. Until then, I thought I’d just build my career as a developer, level by level. I didn’t think there be a sudden pause.
I came back home and started applying for jobs. It’s been two months – no calls, no interviews.
So I told myself maybe this is the moment to pivot. Maybe now is the time to chase the thing I always secretly wanted: an MBA. I’d always liked reading about marketing, business strategy, finance. So I prepped for CAT with just thirty days left. Not my best move and I got a terrible score. But even in that short window, I felt something spark – like this is what I was meant to do. So, I convinced my parents to let me drop a year and prepare seriously. No friends. No social media. Just my room, my books, and five months of hard work: I gave it everything.
And then, on exam day, I just crashed. My heart was pounding and my head felt blank. I still don’t know what happened. I walked out of that hall and knew immediately that I had messed it up.
I ended up with a 70 percentile and it was nothing close to what I needed. Not even for the baby IIMs. My parents don’t want me to drop another year. They think it’s time I just pick something and move on.
So now I’m sitting here, scrolling through tier 3 college options. Knowing I’ll probably have to pick one of them. And all I can think is… how did it come to this?
I used to be someone people respected, someone who had potential. And now I feel like I’m just trying to convince myself I’m still worth something.
Maybe this is all I was meant for. Maybe I peaked early and didn’t even realize it. I don’t know.
I don’t know what’s next. I just know I needed to say this out loud. Even if no one’s listening.
— From a student
Editor’s Note:
Some stories don’t come with a silver lining. They come with silence, self-doubt, and a ache that never leaves the room. This is one of those stories.
It was originally shared anonymously on Reddit, by someone who once felt like they were doing okay. And now they’re not so sure. We don’t know their name, but we felt the honesty in their words the way they reached out not for advice, but just to be heard.
We’ve reshaped the story gently, without changing its heart. If you are the original author and would like us to credit you, or prefer it not be shared, please let us know. No questions, no explanations needed.
To the student who wrote this – thank you. You said what many are too afraid to. You are not alone.
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