A few days ago, I asked a simple question on social media — do Indian parents talk enough about the mental health of their children? I wasn’t expecting anything fancy, maybe a few serious replies, maybe some common opinions. But what I got was brutally honest and strangely familiar. People didn’t hold back. The answers were honest, sarcastic, sometimes painful, but all of them had a strange familiarity.
One of the first replies summed it up perfectly. “What is mental health, humare time pe ye sab faltu cheezein nahi hoti thi. Padhai karo chup chap, fone kum chalao.” (What is mental health? In our time, these useless things didn’t exist. Just study quietly and use your phone less.) The tone was sarcastic but the truth behind it was hard to ignore. That’s exactly how many parents dismiss it — as if mental health is a new-age excuse.
Another person replied, “Haha we don’t, it’s already messed up.” It was blunt, a little harsh, but when you think about it, it reflects how normalized this ignorance has become.
Someone else shared a personal moment. They said, “I once brought up that topic and my mother was like ‘matlab mental patient ho kya re tu? Jaake padh!’” (What, are you a mental patient or what? Go study!) Then they added, “they have no idea it exists.” That hit me harder than I expected. Because I’ve heard versions of this in my own home too.
Then there was this — “Only if ‘Arey, stop overthinking!’ counts as therapy.” (Come on, stop overthinking!) Simple, sarcastic, and yet painfully accurate. Another person added, “Oh, totally! Right after asking why you’re sad when you have food, clothes, and Wi-Fi.” It’s a familiar script, isn’t it? The basic needs are met, so apparently there’s no reason to feel bad.
Some replies were even more direct. “Enough?? Taboo hai bhaiya ye sab.” (Enough?? This is a taboo, brother.) Another said, “Mental health problems are joke in India. Parents and teachers usually say that we will give you 2 slaps and your mental problems will disappear.” That sentence stayed with me. It shows how casually serious issues are brushed aside with violence disguised as discipline.
Another comment reflected on the deeper cause. “Nobody talked to them about it when they were kids, so they are unable to break the chain, and so will we.” That line made me pause. Because it’s true — they were never taught how to deal with emotions, so now, they don’t know how to respond when we try to open up.
Other replies echoed the same frustration. “Forget mental health, I can hardly talk to them about anything personal.” Some were more bitter — “Talk – Nope. Ruin – Yep.” And another said it plainly, “No they only ruin.”
But amidst all this frustration, there was also a quiet hope. One person shared, “Not really (my experience). In my case, I tried explaining them. It is difficult for them to understand though they did not totally ignore that. They ask me if I am okay, follow up with me whenever I have appointments but they could not actually understand. And I am okay with it. I am okay that they are learning and accepting. It will take time.” That felt honest and patient. A reminder that change, when it comes, is slow but possible.
Reading all these replies felt like reading pages from every Indian student’s diary. The hurt, the sarcasm, the resigned acceptance — it was all there. But more than anything, it showed how much people just want to be heard.
This isn’t about bashing parents. It’s about realizing that we’ve inherited a silence they didn’t know how to break. Now it’s up to us to start these uncomfortable conversations. Because pretending it doesn’t exist hasn’t helped anyone.
Food for Thought
Most Indian parents were never taught how to talk about feelings. So they don’t know how to listen when we try. But that silence has to break somewhere. What if it starts with you? One awkward conversation, one moment of patience, could be the beginning of something better. For them. For you. For the next generation.
Leave a Reply